Make Your Own Trail Mix (of feelings)
We find ourselves running away from unpleasant emotions: usually worthlessness or self-consciousness. Sometimes we are doing everything we can to NOT be seen but at the same time upset that no one sees us.
What do we do with that?
- Accept that life is a big bag of messy emotions. Good and Bad.
- Sit for a second and truly feel what you are feeling/acknowledge it/name it.
- Think about why you don’t want to feel it and then ask “What is it trying to tell me?”
- What would you rather feel?
This talking about feelings makes me think about trail mix. A good trail mix has several kinds of nuts, dried fruit (usually I just like cranberries, maybe raisins if no cranberries), and some kind of delicious chocolate. Of course, the dried fruit is my least favorite in the mix, but I like variation (and fruit is healthy, right?).
But why do I like variation? It’s because when I eat that cranberry, I think “Oh, that’s kind of sour. A little chewy. Not too bad”. But then I get a cashew and I think “Oh! That is salty and such a nice after the cranberry taste”. BUT THEN, I get the chocolate and think “OH WOW! That sweetness is the best after that sour, salty mix”. If I was just eating handfuls of chocolate, I wouldn’t realize just how sweet and delightful it was. If each ingredient was on it’s own, I would never know what it truly was or what it could be. If I was just eating cranberries, I would think it was just there and nothing much at all except that I was full. I wouldn’t know the sour without the salty or sweet to compare it too.
Feelings are the same. I feel sad. But how do I know it’s sad if I never feel joy? If I only felt joy, how would I know it was joy without the sad? The variations in feelings are what make life what it is.
Life brings us things that we interpret and that interpretation causes a feeling. When we don’t know that we can control it, it’s like someone just gave us store bought trail mix to eat and saying to us “Here you go. You don’t get to choose what is in the trail mix. It is just what it is.”.
What we don’t learn in life is that you get to pick your own feelings. You get to pick your own trail mix. You get to decide what ingredients to put in there. How much of each. And when you sit down for a snack, you get to pick what in that mix you want to eat at that moment.
Feelings are the same. What do you want to feel? What are you willing to feel because feeling that will make it’s counterpart that much more. Whatever you want to feel, it’s in your bag you made. Sit down and find it and feel it.
