All of it.

Love songs: “A love song is a song about being in, falling in love, heartbreak upon the end of a love, and the feelings that these experiences bring.”

Relationship: “the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.”

Life is half and half. Humans are half and half. Emotions are half and half. There is always one with the other. One wouldn’t mean anything without the other. Happiness can only exist with sadness. Excitement can only exist with boredom. Courage can only exist with fear. Yearning and desire can only exist with acceptance and comfort. We fight to not let both exist, however. We are told that we should be happy all the time, we should be excited, we shouldn’t fear anything, etc.

But, half and half is the human condition. We must make it work for us. Relationships are something humans seek out. But, because of this human condition, it doesn’t always work out that way.

There are times when it means one person is sad and the other person is comforting them. One person is feeling lost while the other is able to be the compass. One person is feeling lonely and the other person is just there for them.

What I forget about sometimes is that I have a relationship with myself. And usually it is the last one I think to work on.

But, what if we can look at love songs, look at love, as a way to have a relationship with ourselves. I think we already do this without even realizing it: when part of me feels sad or wants to just give up, there is that other part of me that is resilient and doesn’t stop. That sure sounds like a love song to me — how one person is singing about their experience in relation to how the other person is feeling and how they can work through it together, help each other, not just let that other person sit in the storm alone. What if my resilient part of me is singing to the sad part of me about not giving up because I will be here for you, I will love you, I will comfort you?

I was listening to a love song the other night when I was feeling sad and lonely and wishing that someone would sing those words to me. Usually I just immediately put myself into the role of the person singing the love song about how I would do anything for this other person, no matter what. That I won’t give up on them, no matter what. That I will always be there for them, no matter what. And I started to think about why I don’t say those things to myself — not in a way to quell loneliness but as an actual act of self-love. Why don’t I tell my body, my own self, these things? I realized that I could sing those words to me. I started seeing myself in all the parts of the song. And it was this most amazing, comforting feeling and I felt like the two sides of me were fusing back together.

Maybe the whole point is to just be able to feel it all. To experience it all. Hold space for it all. Be both of the characters in that love song that you’re singing.